Strange, True & Religious
Archived Issue #4 July 08 2001
Strange, True & Religious
©2001-2008 B. Allan Ross
July 08 2001
Welcome back to ST&R! It's a generous helping of Strange, True & Religious stories. After that, we're hoping (still) to get more regular with our schedule. No, we don't believe in artificial stimulation of regularity, so put that hose down!
If it wasn't for bad luck....
A lawsuit deposition cited in The New York Daily News in April 2001 stated that a since-dismissed assistant to prominent cancer surgeon Dr. Thomas Fahey loaned out blood samples of the late New York City Catholic Cardinal Terrence Cooke long after Cooke's death, so believers could pray over them for good luck. The New York Archdiocese says it did not authorize Dr. Fahey to keep or to lend the blood. Cooke died in 1983 due to diseased blood, otherwise known as leukemia.
No Mooning Near The Snake, Please
According to Reverend Sun Myung Moon, leader of the Unification Church cult (also known as "Moonies"), big-time Republican supporter (of the Bush family in particular), and owner of The Washington Times and the UPI newswire service, "The head of the love organ is shaped exactly like a poisonous rattlesnake. And just like a rattlesnake, it's always looking for a hole. If you misuse your love organ, you destroy your life, your nation, your world."
Did It Work?
A group of 24 Hasidic rabbis gathered on June 24, 1998 at New York City Hall to invoke a biblical curse on New York legislators & Mayor Rudolph Giuliani in response to Giuliani's announcement of the passage of a law that same-gender couples be granted rights equal to those enjoyed by married couples. Spokes-rabbi William Handler refused to reveal the way in which the curse would materialize, but said it was possible for Russia or China to launch an atomic attack.
Next? The Heavy Artillery. Voodoo!
City of Houston Police Department Chaplain Edwin Davis and hundreds of others locked hands to make a prayer circle around the perimeter of the Houston Police Department's headquarters at 1200 Travis St. on the National Day of Prayer last year to call down protection against such tragedies.
"We're going to pray for everybody," said Davis, who also is a Baptist preacher and former HPD officer. "Prayer is pretty much like a blanket. We're praying we can go another year without any [officer shootings]." The 10:00 a.m. prayer service was part of National Police Week activities and was sponsored by the HPD's Community Outreach Division.
Area ministers were scheduled to offer five prayers broadcast through the public address system of a police cruiser circling the building. Organizers hoped to form at least one ring around the building and estimated that at least 250 people were needed to do so.
"Police work is a very dangerous thing. Quite often decisions have to be made in a split second," said Wong. "There's nothing better than to ask for more protection and wisdom. We want everybody to join together in this."
To encourage public involvement, free parking and a shuttle service were offered.
ST&R: There were lots of ridiculous national and local Prayer Week events hosted by various government agencies, we just liked best the mental images this one provoked. Really, how far is this from just sounding the sirens on the police cruisers as they circle the building, in order to ward off evil spirits?!
Though most Internet hoaxes are propagated so much that everyone sees them many more times than they ever want to, this one hasn't made the rounds as much as some others. ST&R simply couldn't resist making sure you get to see it! At least we took out all the newbie marks ( >>> ). We promise that is all we changed in the following:
FWD: Anyone who cares about their children should read this.
Hello. I am the mother of two children, ages 2 and 6. I had just
finished making lunch for them and went to tell my son, the 6 year
old, that lunch was ready. He was in his room playing. As I
approached his room, I could hear him reading. He had just started
learning how, and this made me feel proud as a parent. I stopped in
the doorway to listen to him and beam. To my horror this is what I
heard him saying "Hail Satan, for he is the one true God."
I rushed into the room, my jaw dropped wide open. He was reading a
small piece of paper, similiar to what is found inside a fortune
cookie.He looked up and smiled at me. "Where did u get that?" I
asked. Apparently my tone of voice scared him. "I'm not going to give
you a time out, don't worry. Mommy just needs to know where u got
that paper at," I told him.
He pulled the beanie baby "Gill the Goat" out of his lap, and pointed
to a hole in the side where the stiching and come loose.
I was shocked even more at this. Since we have a big collection of
beanie babies, and with children in the house, we always buy two of
each, one to save in mint condition, and one for the kids to play
with. I went and found the other "Gill the Goat" beanie and cut it
open. Sure enough, inside was a note glorifying the devil.
I have since burned ALL the beanie babies in my house, as we are true
God fearing Christians. My church friends have urged me to tell as
many people as possible about the evilness inside the beanies.
So I am urging you to destroy all your beanie babies, and to forward
this message on to all your loved ones. Together we can make the
world more pure.
ST&R: Wanna bet somebody somewhere is holding onto a hoard of tiny little goats and hoping?
Our Guess Is Ralph Nader
The leading conservative contender to
succeed the current Pope has said that the "Anti-Christ" is already on
Earth, in the guise of a prominent philanthropist whose concern for
human rights, the environment and advocacy of ecumenicism masks his
real aim: the destruction of Christianity and "the death of God."
Cardinal Giacomo Biffi, 71, the Archbishop of Bologna, said the
Anti-Christ was not the beast with seven heads described in the
Bible's "Book of Revelation" but a "fascinating personality" whose
outward charm and plausibility have deceived his enemies. Cardinal
Biffi said the Anti-Christ espoused vegetarianism, pacifism,
environmentalism and animal rights.
He also identified the Anti-Christ as an expert on the Bible who
nonetheless promotes "vague and fashionable spiritual values" rather
than the "Scriptures." He advocates ecumenical dialogue between the
Roman Catholic Church and other Christian denominations, including
Anglicanism and the Orthodox Church. This appears to be a worthy aim,
but is in fact being used by the Anti-Christ in an attempt to water
down and undermine Catholicism to the point where it collapses, says
Biffi did not say whether he had any particular world figure in mind,
and his real target seemed to be the substitution of "feel-good"
causes, such as ecology and humanitarian aid, for "true religion."
His remarks appeared to mark out part of the conservative agenda
ahead of the next conclave to elect a Pope. The physical decline of
Pope John Paul II, 80, has engendered jostling for position among the
cardinals eligible to replace him.
Cardinal Biffi was speaking at a conference in Bologna on the work of
Vladimir Solovyov (1853-1900), the Russian philosopher and mystic,
whom he praised as a "forgotten prophet" who had "lucidly foreseen"
the horrors of the 20th Century. In his last writings, the cardinal
said, Solovyov had predicted the rise of the Anti-Christ after a
century of bloodshed, wars, revolutions and the breakdown of the
That's it till #5, Friends and Spies.
Love out to yas!
B. Allan Ross