Those Wacky Heterosexuals

Those Wacky Heterosexuals Episode No. 8

Monday, August 20th, 2007

August 20 2007

To set the proper mood for the first story in this episode of Those Wacky Heterosexuals, here’s an unrelated clip showing a Chinese waitress being murdered (not a gory visual) while no one around her does a thing to help her or to stop her killer. Except one woman who steals her bag while she’s lying on the floor bleeding to death. (Don’t get too lost browsing over at NothingToxic.com)

Brutal Stabbing of a Chinese Waitress Standing in Line

Unless she’s the same waitress I had the other day at Bob Evans, I can’t imagine her waitressing is <i>that</i> bad to deserve being murdered. So if anyone has more info, please let me know.

Get humor videos at NothingToxic

Shoppers In Kansas Step Over, Pause To Take Cell Phone Pic Of Stabbed, Bleeding, Dying Woman
The Wichita Eagle reports that as stabbing victim LaShanda Calloway, 27, lay dying on the floor of a convenience store five shoppers - including one who stopped to take a picture of her with a cell phone - stepped over her. Police refused to release the store’s surveillance video, saying it is part of their investigation.

This Old News Is Still Wacky Het News

Monday, August 20th, 2007

Harvard University’s science-humor magazine, the Annals of Improbable Research, awarded its annual Ig Nobel Prizes on October 6, 2000 to winners in literature, physics, public health, and seven other categories. We’ll be following these more closely in the future, but we couldn’t leave these out. The awards, which spoof the Nobel Prizes, celebrate achievements that “cannot or should not be reproduced.” Genuine Nobel laureates participate in the ceremony, which also feature the annual “Win-a-Date-With-a-Nobel-Laureate” contest.

The 2000 Winners:
• David Dunning, of Cornell University, and Justin Kruger, of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, received the psychology award for their report “Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One’s Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments.”
• Jasmuheen (formerly known as Ellen Greve), of Brisbane, Australia, received the literature award for her book Living on Light (Koha Publishing, 1998), which explains that although some people do eat food, they don’t ever really need to.
• Richard Wassersug, of Dalhousie University, in Halifax, Nova Scotia, received the biology award for his report “On the Comparative Palatability of Some Dry-Season Tadpoles From Costa Rica.”

Het Boys, 14 & 16, Force 12-Year-Old Into Sex With His Mother

Monday, August 20th, 2007

West Palm Beach, Florida teenagers Avion Lawson, 14, and Nathan Walker, 16, have been accused of gang-raping a woman and forcing her 12-year-old son to join in the attack, then beating him and pouring cleaning solutions into his eyes.

Lawson and Walker were among a group of about 10 masked suspects who forced their way into the woman’s apartment in Dunbar Village, a crime-ridden housing project where Lawson also lived and where Walker was visiting a friend.

They are being held without bail on suspicion of armed sexual battery by multiple perpetrators, sexual performance by a child, armed home invasion and aggravated battery.

Authorities believe the suspects all knew each other from the neighborhood, but they don’t think they knew the victims directly.

“Any rape case is horrible but this takes it to another level, something you can’t think of even in your worst dreams,” police spokesman Ted White said.

According to the police report, a man knocked on the woman’s door at about 9:00 p.m. and told her he had a flat tire. The mother and son went outside and were ambushed by a group of gun-wielding suspects.

Curiosity Didn’t Kill, But 16-Year-Old Het Girls Did

Monday, August 20th, 2007

Two presumed heterosexual teenage girls in Western Australia killed a friend to see whether they would feel remorse. They didn’t. Their new sentences of life in prison, with a minimum sentence of 15 years, will give each time to develop something resembling a conscience.

The girls, both 16 at the time of the murder, strangled 15-year-old Eliza Jane Davis then buried her under a house. They told police they knew it was wrong to kill but it “felt right,” and they did not regret Davis’s death.

Perth Children’s Court president Denis Reynolds said the murder was “gruesome and merciless in the extreme.” The pair cannot be named because of their age.

While the three were staying at the same house in the coal-mining town of Collie, south of Perth, on June 18, 2006, the 16-year-olds had been discussing how neither would feel bad about committing murder when they decided to kill Davis, who was sleeping in another room. They dressed in old clothes, then strangled Davis with speaker wire and buried her body under the house.

Wacky Het Couldn’t Wait Four Months, Faces 30 Years

Monday, August 20th, 2007

A California high school teacher of band, choir and orchestra at Capuchino High School will be charged only with conduct that occurred from February through May, when a female student turned 18 years old. Adam Albrecht, 28, faces 16 felony counts of oral copulation with a minor and 16 felony counts of unlawful sexual intercourse with a 17-year-old.

Chief Deputy District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe said Albrecht will also be charged with attempting to dissuade a witness, possession of less than an ounce of marijuana, and contributing to the delinquency of a minor for allegedly providing the girl with alcohol and marijuana.

He faces up to about 30 years in prison if convicted as charged, Wagstaffe said, adding, “not that we’re seeking that.” Albrecht is being held in San Mateo County jail on $500,000 bail. The student’s mother discovered “numerous calls and text messages in the cell phone bill to the band teacher,” Wagstaffe said, and confronted her daughter, which led to the criminal investigation.

Anti-Porn Super-Het Ronda Storms Emails Vagina Close-Up

Monday, August 20th, 2007

Florida’s viciously anti-gay Hillsborough County Commissioner [now a Florida State Senator] Ronda Storms got lots of “colorful” e-mail after she launched another sexuality oriented campaign, this time against obscenity on public access television. When she got an email the morning of April 11 — with a sexually explicit photo attached — she decided to share it with fellow commissioners.

With no pre-emptive warning, except the message, “For your information — we received this e-mail this morning. Please contact our office if you should have any questions,” heterosexual Christian supremacist Storms forwarded the email to each of the 11 other aides on the floor.

As The St. Petersburg Times describes it, “Throughout the neighboring offices at County Center came a domino-tumbling reaction of gasps, sighs and cries of shock as commissioners’ aides opened their e-mail.”

Republican Storms may have violated county policy, or even broken the law by distributing what she herself considers obscene material.

Commission Chairwoman Pat Frank was not amused. “I think for her to share that with staff … without any warning, is really not consistent with Ronda’s position in terms of not exposing people to illicit material without their consent. Frank’s aide, Carol LePierre, got the forwarded email titled “My picture.”

Shoppers In Kansas Step Over, Pause To Take Cell Phone Pic Of Stabbed, Bleeding, Dying Woman

Monday, August 20th, 2007

To set the proper mood, here’s an unrelated clip showing a Chinese waitress being murdered (not a gory visual) while no one around her does a thing to help her or to stop her killer. One woman actually steals her bag while she’s lying on the floor bleeding to death. (Don’t get too lost browsing over at NothingToxic.com)

Brutal Stabbing of a Chinese Waitress Standing in Line

Unless she’s the same waitress I had the other day at Bob Evans, I can’t imagine her waitressing is that bad to deserve being murdered. So if anyone has more info, please let me know.

In Kansas, The Wichita Eagle reports that as stabbing victim LaShanda Calloway, 27, lay dying, bleeding to death on the floor of a convenience store, five shoppers — including one who stopped to take a picture of her with a cell phone — stepped over her. Police refused to release the store’s surveillance video, saying it is part of their investigation.