Those Wacky Heterosexuals

Nude Beach Days Numbered: Stake through het fan’s heart

Saturday, May 31st, 2008

Nudists who favor a stretch of beach in the land between San Clemente and Camp Pendleton are in for a life-altering change of scenery.

On June 2, state park rangers will begin “educating” nudists at the San Onofre State Beach spot known as Trail 6. After Labor Day, nekkid folks will be ticketed.

Roy Stearns, a spokesman for San Onofre State Beach, told The Orange County Register that a heterosexual man was arrested on suspicion of sexually molesting a 12-year-old girl in the area in 2007, and some rangers have complained about the hetero-“sexually charged” atmosphere.

“It’s no longer one of those remote beaches that is out of sight and out of mind, that few people go to,” Stearns said.

The number of people visiting the beach, which is in San Diego County, has nearly doubled since 2000 to about 2.5 million annually, according to the state. While non-heterosexual nudists do visit the beach, they are massively outnumbered by naked hets.

Going nude is illegal but those hitting the beach wearing nothing but skin aren’t hassled in a few spots, such as Black’s Beach, also in San Diego County.

Good Riddance: Het Bias-Crime Killer Jeffrey Lalonde Suicides After 19 Years In Prison

Friday, May 30th, 2008

Jeffrey Lalonde’s “James Hartline” past allowed him to murder because het Alain Brosseau “looked gay.”

Canadian site Dose.ca reports that a heterosexual man from Ottawa who was serving a life sentence for his role in a killing that prompted activists to call for anti-bias crimes legislation has been found dead in his Quebec prison cell.

Quebec’s Provincial police are investigating the apparent suicide of 36-year-old Jeffrey Lalonde in the medium-security Leclerc Institution in Laval, Quebec on May 26.

Lalonde was sentenced to life in prison for murdering 33-year-old Alain Brosseau in 1989, when Lalonde was 17 years old. He had six years in prison remaining on his Canadian life sentence.

Brosseau was walking across a bridge on his way home from a late night shift as a waiter when Lalonde and his friends crossed his path.

Lalonde threw Brosseau head first off the Alexandra Bridge into the Ottawa River.

Lalonde pleaded guilty to second-degree murder in the death, which occurred during a series of attacks by a group of supposedly heterosexual teenagers murderously hostile to anyone they decided might be gay. The attacks took place over a four-day period in the city of Hull, Quebec; and in Ottawa.

Video: Heterosexuals Stephen Colbert and Tony Perkins “discuss” same-gender marriage

Friday, May 30th, 2008

Professed heterosexual interviewer Stephen Colbert sat down with Tony Perkins, who is the president of the Family Research Council (an offshoot of James Dobson’s Focus on the Family), the author of the pro-theocracy book, Personal Faith, Public Policy, and an extremist, radical, in-your-face, super-het — a man who looks, acts and sounds gay — to discuss the California Supreme Court ruling handed down May 15 which affirms the equal right to civil marriage for same-gender couples.

A video of that entire segment of “The Colbert Report”, which aired on Comedy Central May 27 2008, is hosted here by PageOneQ.

“The bible says right there in Leviticus: Man shall not lie down with man! Now, most people think that refers only to sex, but I say you can never be too careful, which is why I always bring cubicle dividers to the beach.”

“Many are shocked and outraged,” Colbert continued. “I get the outrage, but shocked? That California is pro-gay? I assume these are the same people who were shocked when Elton John finally came out, even though he’d been wearing fuchsia sun goggles with windshield wipers for years.”

Heartbroken het joins dead girlfriend for permanent nap in morgue freezer

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

Ahhh, opposite-sex love in Taiwan. Apparently controlled by heterosexuality out of control, a practicing het took a drug before entering the morgue freezer which contained the dead woman he referred to as his ”girl” friend.

He was trying to speed up what “appeared to be” a suicide attempt, local papers said. The man, overcome by the heterosexual lifestyle, was pulled out of the freezer barely alive after half an hour.

“A morgue manager opened the hatch, saw two people lying inside, felt scared enough to yell out and then even cried,” The Liberty Times reported. “She didn’t stabilize for a long time.”

The man’s girlfriend died three days earlier from an overdose of sleeping pills.

Heartbroken man climbs into morgue freezer containing girlfriend | Reuters

The World According To Monsanto (w/video trailer)

Monday, May 26th, 2008

A new movie has dealt yet another severe blow to the credibility of U.S.-based Monsanto, one of the biggest chemical companies in the world and the provider of the patented seed technology for 90% of the world’s genetically engineered (GE) crops.

The French documentary, called “The World According To Monsanto” and directed by independent filmmaker Marie-Monique Robin, paints a grim picture of a company with a long track record of environmental crimes and health scandals.

Greenpeace International reports that the story starts in the White House, where Monsanto often got its way by exerting disproportionate influence over heterosexual policymakers via the “revolving door”.

One example is avowed heterosexual Michael Taylor.

Taylor worked for Monsanto as an attorney before being appointed as Deputy Commissioner, U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in 1991. While at the FDA, the authority that deals with all U.S. food approvals, Taylor made crucial decisions that led to the approval of genetically engineered foods and crops. Then he returned home to become Monsanto’s Vice President of Public Policy.
 
Thanks to these intimate links between Monsanto and government agencies, the U.S. adopted GE foods and crops without proper testing, without consumer labeling, and in spite of serious questions hanging over their safety. Not coincidentally, Monsanto also supplies 90% of the GE seeds used by the U.S. market.

Graphic: Just because you can reproduce, doesn’t mean you should.

Thursday, May 22nd, 2008

Certain Wacky Heterosexuals should be encouraged not to breed. Look around you every day!

Take Action: Tell Your Senators To Support The GI Bill

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008

If we start to offer veterans decent educational benefits again, The Wuss is afraid they won’t re-enlist, so he’s decided the best way to fix that is to make civilian life look less appealing to active duty forces.

Let’s see the choice: life-and-death survival mode 24/7 for a mission lost somewhere in the brain of a phony missionary madman, or tough times with everyone else on the streets of your own home town in America.

It’s not a very difficult decision for anyone to make, once they understand that they serve a Wacky Het in command of the most dangerous armed forces and weapons in the world, and he really and truly is wacky.

The het part has been called into question by several sources, from the credible to the kooky, who accuse The Wuss of hypocritical active oral and passive anal male-male sexual activities.

By his own admission and practices, The Wuss is an avowed extremist, a radical, in-your-face heterosexual supremacist.

The Wuss does not support heterosexual or any other active duty members of the military, or veterans, or their families. He never has. And yes, The Wuss did go AWOL during Vietnam and could have been charged with desertion during war time.