Those Wacky Heterosexuals

Wacky McCain In 2005: Give Gitmo Detainees A Trial Or Release Them!

Tuesday, June 24th, 2008

Despite presumed heterosexual John McCain’s outrage and bluster last week when the Supreme Court ruled that Gitmo detainees must know why they are being held or be released (that’s all it said) – Mark Nickolas over at Political Base shows a McCain appearance on “Meet the Press” in 2005 where McCain argued that uncharged, indefinitely detained prisoners deserved trials.

McCain went so far as to say “if it means releasing some of them, you’ll have to release them.” A Fantastic 4-in-1 of flip-floppers, McSame is shameless.

read more and see the video clip at PoliticalBase.com

The Wuss: Chief Het Is Best Oil Addiction Pusher

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

entry adapted from The New York Times

Mr. Bush, Lead or Leave
By Op-Ed Columnist THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN
Published Jun 22 2008

It is hard to find the words to express what a fraudulent, pathetic excuse for an energy policy The Wuss’s new plan is. Two years ago, The Wuss declared that America was “addicted to oil,” and, by gosh, he was going to do something about it. Well, now he has. Now we have the new Bush energy plan: “Get more addicted to oil.”

read more at The New York Times (free registration may be required)

Traditional Heterosexual Family Values On Display

Monday, June 16th, 2008

Hets love animal whorehouses

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

Denmark’s animal bordellos reportedly draw Norwegian clients, but both countries have loopholes that make such establishments legal. Neither Denmark nor Norway has a prohibition on sex with animals, as long as the animals do not suffer.

[photo shows a Danish animal owner offering his horse to a female heterosexual Danish journalist claiming to be interested in animal sex]

Danish animal owners advertise openly on the Internet that they offer sex with animals, without intervention from police or other authorities, Danish newspaper 24timer reports.

In correspondence with the animal owners, the newspaper was told that the animals involved have many years of experience and that the animals themselves wanted sex. The cost to the client varied from $85 to $170.

The Norwegian Food Safety Authority’s section chief for animal welfare, Torunn Knævelsrud, could not rule out that such a bordello could be legal in Norway as well. “It is difficult to say yes or no,” Knævelsrud told Aftenposten.no.

As long as basics like shelter, feed and care are in place, and injury or suffering to the animal can not be documented, there are no other ways to attack an animal bordello under existing Norwegian law.

Het cop caught having sex with pigs

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

A shocked pig farmer in Norway could not believe his eyes as he watched a man drop his trousers and assault several female members of his herd. The farmer managed to grab a camera and get evidence of the public heterosexual bestiality, and the “animal lover” has been convicted.

“It was hard to comprehend what I was in fact seeing,” said the Skien farmer. He managed to get nine shots of the former policeman he spotted sexually assaulting his pigs.

Telemark police said the case is closed and the man was fined $1,060 for violating animal protection laws.

“He has abused these animals in such a way that violated the animal protection act. The man has admitted guilt and accepted the fine,” said Telemark deputy police commissioner Runar Karlsen.

The farmer decided to talk about the incident because of village rumors that he has been spreading evil gossip about a respected citizen.

The farmer was on a regular trip out to the pens to feed his herd — five sows and a boar, which were kept in a large fence bordering the woods a few hundred meters from his farm.

Het morgue tech, 25, guilty of sex with 92-year-old corpse

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

New Jersey’s The Star-Ledger reports that a young heterosexual laboratory technician accused of sexually abusing the corpse of a 92-year-old woman in a Teaneck hospital morgue has pleaded guilty to desecration of human remains.

Anthony Merino, 25, of Manhattan faces up to seven years in prison when he is sentenced for the second-degree crime next month. Under a complicated plea agreement negotiated by his attorney, Savyon Grant, and the Bergen County Prosecutor’s Office, Merino could file a motion to have his sentence reconsidered and be placed on five years’ probation after serving 11 months, 15 days in prison.

Merino was arrested after a security guard observed him engaging in sexual activity with the deceased woman inside a morgue at Holy Name Hospital in Teaneck. Merino was a newly employed part-time lab tech at the hospital at the time.

As part of his plea, Merino agreed to undergo a full psychological evaluation and will be prohibited from working at a hospital, morgue, cemetery or anywhere else where he could come into contact with human remains.

Super-rich Saudi, 92, banned from marrying poor village girl, 17

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

Authorities have banned a wealthy 92-year-old heterosexual man from marrying a poor teenage girl — 75 years younger than him.

The Egyptian justice ministry made its ruling under a law designed to prevent wealthy Arabs from the Gulf from snapping up young Egyptian girls. The law forbids marriage when there is an age gap of 25 years or more.

The unidentified Saudi proposed marriage to a 17-year-old village girl and offered a dowry of about $28,000 as well as gold jewelry, according to a judicial source.

“Her parents, who are very poor, accepted,” the source said, but the justice ministry refused to register the marriage, citing the legislation brought in during the Gulf oil boom.

According to Egypt’s Al-Akhbar newspaper, the authorities did allow 173 such marriages last year after the foreign husbands paid the equivalent of $8,000 into the Egyptian National Bank.

Get Married Or Get Fired

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

Single workers at one of Iran’s major state-owned companies have been told to marry by September or they will lose their jobs.

The Pars Special Economic Energy Zone Company employs thousands of people, mostly young men, on Iran’s Gulf coast. Being married is a job requirement, apparently an attempt to reduce the number of female prostitutes servicing the heterosexual men in the area, under the assumption that their customers are only single men.

Pars controls Iran’s large network of gas and petrochemical facilities around the coastal city of Assalouyeh.

The company’s directive, according to the Etemad newspaper, says that despite the marriage requirement, “some of our colleagues did not fulfil their commitments and are still single. As being married is one of the criteria of employment, we are announcing for the last time that all the female and male colleagues have until September 21 to go ahead with this important and moral religious duty.”

In the same vein, the governor of the eastern province of North Khorasan ruled recently that only married people would be hired for official posts in that region. Economic difficulties in Iran have led many people to postpone getting married, despite the fact that sex is illegal between unmarried people.

Het Living In University Basement Robs Vending Machines For 10 Years

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

An otherwise homeless heterosexual lived for 10 years in the basements of the Faculty of Linguistics and Literature of the University of Nice, in France.

When he went out of his hideout at night he robbed the vending machines holding beverages and snacks for the students, also taking the coins. He caused damages in the amount of some 200,000 euros ($309,240) during the years, according to investigators.

The career of the man who said his name is Jean Valjean (like the main character of “Les Miserables”) ended when a video surveillance camera which he failed to notice and neutralize, as he did with the others, caught him on tape which allowed the police to intervene and detain him.

The 40-year-old was tried and sentenced to four months in prison (the sentence was for fifteen months, partially suspended).

The idea of forcing open the vending machines occurred to him six months after he arrived in the basements of the university. When arrested, “Valjean” had 53 euros in his pocket, from the last of his night raids.

Police Arrest Seven For Cheering Graduating Seniors

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

Authorities say seven people attending high school graduations in Rock Hill, South Carolina, are facing charges after police say they cheered while students’ names were being called. Without evidence to the contrary, the officers involved and the criminals are all assumed to be practicing heterosexuals.

Six people at Fort Mill High School’s graduation were charged Saturday, and one was charged Friday at the graduation ceremonies for York Comprehensive High School, also in Rock Hill. All seven were charged with disorderly conduct.

Police say the arrested family members and friends yelled, after students’ names were called while diplomas were handed out.

According to a police spokesman, school officials requested police patrols to prevent graduation disruptions that include standing, hollering and clapping. He says those attending the commencements are told their behavior can be prosecuted.

Rock Hill is north of Columbia, South Carolina.