Those Wacky Heterosexuals

Hets love animal whorehouses

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

Denmark’s animal bordellos reportedly draw Norwegian clients, but both countries have loopholes that make such establishments legal. Neither Denmark nor Norway has a prohibition on sex with animals, as long as the animals do not suffer.

[photo shows a Danish animal owner offering his horse to a female heterosexual Danish journalist claiming to be interested in animal sex]

Danish animal owners advertise openly on the Internet that they offer sex with animals, without intervention from police or other authorities, Danish newspaper 24timer reports.

In correspondence with the animal owners, the newspaper was told that the animals involved have many years of experience and that the animals themselves wanted sex. The cost to the client varied from $85 to $170.

The Norwegian Food Safety Authority’s section chief for animal welfare, Torunn Knævelsrud, could not rule out that such a bordello could be legal in Norway as well. “It is difficult to say yes or no,” Knævelsrud told Aftenposten.no.

As long as basics like shelter, feed and care are in place, and injury or suffering to the animal can not be documented, there are no other ways to attack an animal bordello under existing Norwegian law.

Het cop caught having sex with pigs

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

A shocked pig farmer in Norway could not believe his eyes as he watched a man drop his trousers and assault several female members of his herd. The farmer managed to grab a camera and get evidence of the public heterosexual bestiality, and the “animal lover” has been convicted.

“It was hard to comprehend what I was in fact seeing,” said the Skien farmer. He managed to get nine shots of the former policeman he spotted sexually assaulting his pigs.

Telemark police said the case is closed and the man was fined $1,060 for violating animal protection laws.

“He has abused these animals in such a way that violated the animal protection act. The man has admitted guilt and accepted the fine,” said Telemark deputy police commissioner Runar Karlsen.

The farmer decided to talk about the incident because of village rumors that he has been spreading evil gossip about a respected citizen.

The farmer was on a regular trip out to the pens to feed his herd — five sows and a boar, which were kept in a large fence bordering the woods a few hundred meters from his farm.

Het morgue tech, 25, guilty of sex with 92-year-old corpse

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

New Jersey’s The Star-Ledger reports that a young heterosexual laboratory technician accused of sexually abusing the corpse of a 92-year-old woman in a Teaneck hospital morgue has pleaded guilty to desecration of human remains.

Anthony Merino, 25, of Manhattan faces up to seven years in prison when he is sentenced for the second-degree crime next month. Under a complicated plea agreement negotiated by his attorney, Savyon Grant, and the Bergen County Prosecutor’s Office, Merino could file a motion to have his sentence reconsidered and be placed on five years’ probation after serving 11 months, 15 days in prison.

Merino was arrested after a security guard observed him engaging in sexual activity with the deceased woman inside a morgue at Holy Name Hospital in Teaneck. Merino was a newly employed part-time lab tech at the hospital at the time.

As part of his plea, Merino agreed to undergo a full psychological evaluation and will be prohibited from working at a hospital, morgue, cemetery or anywhere else where he could come into contact with human remains.

Super-rich Saudi, 92, banned from marrying poor village girl, 17

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

Authorities have banned a wealthy 92-year-old heterosexual man from marrying a poor teenage girl — 75 years younger than him.

The Egyptian justice ministry made its ruling under a law designed to prevent wealthy Arabs from the Gulf from snapping up young Egyptian girls. The law forbids marriage when there is an age gap of 25 years or more.

The unidentified Saudi proposed marriage to a 17-year-old village girl and offered a dowry of about $28,000 as well as gold jewelry, according to a judicial source.

“Her parents, who are very poor, accepted,” the source said, but the justice ministry refused to register the marriage, citing the legislation brought in during the Gulf oil boom.

According to Egypt’s Al-Akhbar newspaper, the authorities did allow 173 such marriages last year after the foreign husbands paid the equivalent of $8,000 into the Egyptian National Bank.